"...They will tell you life is sweet, in spite of the misery..." - Natalie Merchant

This is us. We live in a bus. A blue bus, in Hawaii to be exact. Some days it's wonderful, and some days are really hard.... but any time I call the cell phone company or any other company to pay a bill or say that I moved they say,"oh, Hawaii eh? That must be rough". So, somehow we missed the memo that if you live in Hawaii your life must be perfect. Well, hopefully this blog will set you straight:) Our life is not perfect by any means. But it IS full of adventure, which is just what we asked for!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

little wahine


This is what I nick-nameed the "journaling room" in the place we are care-taking right now. There are lovely rich cushions and pillows on the floor, and you can't see it in the picture but there are the most beautiful huge wooden bowls, filled with journals and writing. What a lovely place.

What a dreamy life... to wake up, do some stretching, make tea, flow into beautiful journaling room to sit,meditate, pray, and be inspired. A beautiful home, plenty of time, "enough" money, lovely weather and views, and a wonderful family in the mix. There would probably be a pretty turqoise kimono and some other nice clothes in there too somewhere, if I'm gonna dream.

The funny thing is, I still prefer my sweet little house. It's easier. It's simpler. It's enough.

What do I want...What do I need... what do I already have?

Is it weird that I constantly ask in my subconcious these questions? I can't get off this kick lately. And I have to say, I'm not sure if I am just set up in prime conditions or what, but I feel pretty damn well satsified with what I have. It's the most earie feeling. Even the lacking, the part of me that is constantly craving, I even love that. It's the part of me that is always hungry, always looking for life and for love and beauty.... then discovering the sweet truth that it abounds.

I was going to write this blog with descriptions of the unique and beautiful experiences I've been having, but feel that it wouldn't do this feeling justice. I don't want to paint the wrong picture here.... just believe me when I say that my life is not perfect. I really have such trying moments...where I swear under my breath, or snap at my kids, or just feel so tired of wiping up Gabe's poop. But see... Even that! That is part of it too! I'm realizing that life really will never be perfect. I can break it down into some simple basics:

1. If I think stuff will make me happy, I will never have enough, and I still won't be happy.
2. An act of love is usually staring me right in the face.
3. If I don't just start trying now to overcome my weaknesses, my life will just get worse.
4. there is breathtaking beauty all around me, if I just take a look
5. Challenge myself to things that scare me
6. work hard, from my heart.
7. Give myself room to be human
8. Make sure to put my energy and love into things that matter.
9. Love deeply, let it make me cry in the middle of the farmer'market in empathy for someone I don't even really know.

I feel silly suggesting this, but could you try saying this list out loud to yourself and let me know how it makes you feel. If you think of a few more things for my list, please let me know.

I talk about you often. Sometimes I miss you so much it's the strangest feeling, I want to watch you blossom, mature, grow older. I have known you and loved you during all my remembering years. I wish we could have long converstations... hard to do from across the ocean, but here is my blog in honor of you. I love your spirit, your heart, your beauty, your light!

2 comments:

  1. This is beautiful, Dani. I just moved to Maryland; it's nowhere near the expected-state of bliss that is Hawaii, but I find myself hovering around similar thoughts. I usually dont reach your level of clarity, though. Your list is refreshing. I'm going to put it on my fridge to give me a daily reminder of who and where I am. Thanks.

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  2. You guys are so awesome. Your "silly suggestion" brought Mom and I to tears. We love you even more than you can imagine! (Just wait until you are grandparents ;-)) I just printed your list, and it will go on our bathroom mirror where we will see it several times a day. You are an inspiration to me on so many levels. You are a blessing in my life. Love, Papa John

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